sarnath wedding

Last night my Hindi teacher invited JoJo, Byarma, and me to his niece's wedding.
We met him at the Institute at 5:30, and he drove us to Rangoli Garden, the fanciest restaurant in Sarnath. (It's really not all that fancy, just ridiculously expensive - but compared to the rest of Sarnath it's a pretty swanky place.) The whole street was decorated with lights, and we went around to the back and sat under a big pavillion and ate sweets while listening to the same five Hindi film songs over and over and over again.

All of the women at this point were busy getting the bride ready someplace else, so we felt a little awkward for a while because we were the only girls there. After the women arrived, we tried to speak in Hindi with our teacher's wife and daughters, but wound up defaulting to English after 5 minutes. But later, we made friends with some young girls (maybe eight or nine years old), who were really excited that we knew some Hindi, and corrected our sentences when we made mistakes. I bonded with two of them over Hindi films and we talked about our favorite actors. (They were a little disappointed when I told them that I liked Amitabh Bachchan better than Shah Rukh Khan.)

Then we ate.
And ate.
And ate some more.
And then we had coffee.

At 9:30 or so, the groom arrived. There was a big procession with people carrying huge, ornate, battery-operated lights, a band, and men setting off fireworks. (The fireworks were kind of ridiculous - there were maybe a dozen or so of them in a big can. One man lit a match, threw it in the can, and held it up in the air over his head. One by one, the explosions went off - directly under trees and power lines, and only a few feet away from the wedding guests.) Then the groom arrived in a car covered in marigolds. His friends all stood around the car door and talked to him for a few minutes, then two of them picked him up and carried him over to a priest. He tried to smile, but looked absolutely terrified. (He and the bride had only met once before.) He and the bride's father sat down on opposite sides of the priest, and they did some kind of prayer or ritual. I tried to ask people what was going on, but nobody seemed to know or care. The whole time that this was going on, there was still Hindi film music blaring over the speakers, and only a quarter of the guests there were actually paying attention to the ritual. The rest were eating.

And after five minutes, our teacher found us and made us go eat as well. Again.

After we had stuffed ourselves once more, our teacher's wife took us to meet the bride. She looked absolutely beautiful - her hands and arms were covered in jewelry up to her elbows, she had a big, ornate nose ring, and jewels in her hair, and her sari was magenta and silver. She had been sobbing all day, and while she wasn't crying when we went to see her, she looked terribly upset. I know that in these weddings, the bride is supposed to cry, but I couldn't help feeling really sorry for her.

At 10:30, the groom walked up onto a raised platform under the pavillion, where there were two huge gold and silver chairs set against a backdrop of marigolds and silver tinsel. He still looked terrified, but tried to smile whenever his friends came over to talk to him. After 10 minutes or so, about a dozen women escorted the bride up onto the stage. She and the groom faced each other and put garlands of flowers around each other's necks. Then everyone clapped. Apparently that was the whole ceremony. Then they both sat down, and for the next half hour or so, they sat there (the groom still looking terrified, the bride staring at her feet) while groups of men came up onto the stage to throw flowers on them and have their picture taken.

I have to say, I think western weddings would be a lot more fun if they involved bright colors and Hindi music. My stepsister is getting married right after I go back to the U.S. - maybe I can convince her to play the soundtrack from 'Kal Ho Naa Ho' during the ceremony instead of traditional hymns.